South of Forgiveness

South of Forgiveness: A True Story of Rape and Responsibility.  By Elva Thordis and Stranger Tom.  The author was date raped her senior of high school. She spirals out, does not do well in life for the most part, but eventually marries and lives a relatively normal existence. Then, thanks to the development of email - she hears from him, her abuser. He (the co-author of the book) confides in her that he has lived his life with regret and torment, realizing as he had children, that what he did to her was wrong. They communicate, via email for EIGHT years, and then finally meet. Their communication eventually frees her of the guilt and doubt she (like any date raped woman) carries about her role in it, etc etc. And he learns, with her permission, to forgive himself and move on as well.  The pair did a TED talk about their experience.  The book is controversial: feminists saying that it sends a message to people that you can date rape and get forgiven, be 'buddies.' Quite the opposite, their point is that men need to recognize what date rape is, women need to NOT blame themselves or question their role, and, most importantly, if it does happen, one has to reach deep and forgive themselves - both rapist and victim in order to live a healthy life. Fascinating."